COYOTE UGLY

This ugly witch moved upstairs. She walks like a construction worker, like some fuckin' cabbie on crack. And runs across it all the time.

One day I went to ask her to keep it down and she said "You have no right to come to my HOUSE." I was like bitch - you call a closet a HOUSE??? What third world slum did you come from??? And then she goes I am going to call the management company and if you have anything to say to me tell them.

I was like yes I do. Actually my hammer does. I banged on the roof the next time she ran - and she called the police on ME??? I was the victim. Jeez these foreign cunts are too much.

And then she brought some old fart neighbor with her downstairs and then my old fart neighbor came out. When my old neighbor tried to say anything I was like look you old bastard YOU don't say ANYTHING. I have been hearing your 80 year old ass making love to some 60 year old witch for three years - REALLY REALLY loud and disgusting. I didn't say that - although I wanted to - but I am too nice. I just told him he made "noise" too. I hope he got the hint.